Thailand - Culture Page 1

Overview

What is culture?

One dictionary definition I found describes it this way, "The predominating attitudes and behaviour that characterise the functioning of a group or organization."

Some guide books seem happy to put together a simple list to describe Thai Culture. "Thais are Buddhists, they eat rice (with a fork and spoon instead of a knife and fork), wai instead of shaking hands, you shouldn't touch their heads and don't point your feet at them". That was easy, wasn't it?

To me, culture is a lot more. The type of things listed above are just superficial. Culture is really about understanding value and belief systems, and understanding what makes people tick.

Since I started living in Thailand at the end of 2003, there are certain traits and patterns of behaviour I have seen that at first I didn't perceive as culture. They were just things that seemed a bit unusual.

However, after seeing the same things time and again (and also from hearing other foreigners describing similar behaviour) it seems that certain traits are cultural.

The subject is extremely complex and I know little about it although my understanding is growing. I believe that if I spent the rest of my life in Thailand and mastered the language completely I still wouldn't fully understand the culture.

The reason for that is that I was brought up with completely different value and belief systems.

In these pages I will try to describe some of the behaviour I have observed. For certain behaviour I may have an idea why, but other actions and behaviour still leave me totally baffled.

The best advice I can give to anyone visiting Thailand is to try to forget your own values, beliefs and perceptions. The culture in Thailand is SO different that it is futile trying to apply Western values.

On short vacations cultural problems do not arise very often. However, once you start living in Thailand they start to crop up with increasing regularity and can be difficult to comprehend.

Although certain types of cultural behaviour can be difficult to understand it is the culture that makes Thailand the amazing country it is.

There is probably not a more friendly or welcoming place on earth and this is because of such cultural qualities as non-confrontation, face-saving, tolerance and keeping cool.

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Face

Last updated: 2nd December 2008

The Asian notions of losing and saving 'face' are very strong in Thailand. I have my own ideas about losing face but the Thai version is quite different. Trying to understand it sometimes helps to explain strange, confusing and irrational behaviour.

In a situation involving a Thai where the Thai isn't making any sense, try thinking about face. Even if it seems totally innocuous or trivial the behaviour may be down to perceived loss of face. Are you asking the Thai something he or she doesn't know the answer to, or are you asking for something that's not available? A negative response in the West would be no big deal but in Thailand it could be construed as a loss of face.

My idea of losing face is to be quite publicly humiliated. If I was working with a client and a colleague of mine highlighted a mistake I had made to the client or told them I didn't have any knowledge in a certain area I would feel as if I had lost face. I would probably speak to my colleague alone afterwards to find out why he or she had said those things.

To a Thai, losing face is a lot more subtle. Asking a Thai an innocent question to which he doesn't know the answer can cause the Thai to lose face. If someone in the street asks me directions and I don't know I say, "I'm sorry, I don't know". Not so in Thailand. To save face, Thais will typically make up an answer if they don't know.

I have been sent on a number of wild goose chases after asking directions. The first time it happened was in Bangkok's MBK shopping centre when I was looking for a certain shop. I asked a few people and the various answers I received led me to every floor in the building. I found the shop eventually but only because by that time I had been everywhere in MBK and sooner or later I was bound to stumble across the place I was looking for.

Since then it has happened often. Sometimes the Thai has very confidently sent me in the wrong direction. It could be that they haven't correctly understood my question but that is unlikely. It's not just directions. It's any information you ask of a Thai, and the way it affects behaviour extends to every area of life in Thailand.

You might be in a restaurant and ask for something that isn't available. The waitress says she will get what you want but never comes back. It could be that she didn't understand what you wanted or it could be that the restaurant doesn't have what you want. To say so though would be losing face. She will say yes to save face but then won't come back.

A Thai acting strangely, or not telling you something, may be trying to save his or her own face or the face of someone else. No doubt people who have been living in Thailand a long time could go on at length about situations they have run into involving 'face'. For the temporary visitor it is just another of those Asian traits to be aware of.

This aspect of Thai culture is probably the most frustrating thing to deal with for foreigners living in Thailand. In theory it is a nice thing but in practice it means constantly being lied to; never being told anything straight; and always having to second-guess if something you are told is genuine or is being told just to save face.

Here are some more examples:

• You meet a Thai girl, get along really well, and ask if she wants to meet later. She doesn't want to but saying no would cause you a loss of face. She says yes, you arrange a time and a place, but she doesn't show up.
• Students you are teaching don't want to learn any more but saying so would cause you and them a loss of face. They make up some excuse about stopping temporarily because they are busy and tell you they will call when they want their lessons to resume. You never hear from them again.
• A shop assistant can't understand your Thai and fears losing face. In order to get rid of you as quickly as possible, he or she will just say the shop hasn't got what you want - even if it has.
• If teaching in Thailand, students in large classes never tell you they don't understand because this would be a loss of face in front of their classmates (who can't understand either). The only way to find out is by talking with them alone.
• You ask a taxi driver to take you somewhere but he doesn't know the place. However, to tell you he doesn't know would be a loss of face. He starts driving but only to look for another taxi driver. When he sees one, he stops to ask directions hoping you won't realise what he has done.
• After male pupils attempt gang-raping a female classmate in Chumpon (while one of them records everything on his mobile phone), the incident is hushed up and the school urges the parents of the girl not to report what happened as it would be bad for the school's reputation.

This is one reason why Thais have a reputation among foreigners as being liars. They do lie but often the lies are only to save face without meaning to intentionally deceive.

I have referred to this as an Asian cultural trait because it exists throughout Asia and not only in Thailand.

My brother lives in Singapore and was asked to make a presentation at work. He wanted to know if he should distribute copies of his presentation to attendees in advance or at the start of the presentation, so asked a female colleague for advice.

The answer she gave him was completely unrelated to the question so, thinking she hadn't understood correctly, he asked again. At this, she stormed off almost in tears. Later she accused him of humiliating her in front of everyone.

He wanted an answer to a simple question but unfortunately the person he asked didn't know. In the Western world this wouldn't be a big deal but it can cause all sorts of problems in Asia.

It's not a good idea to push a Thai who is obviously stalling because he or she doesn't know the answer and is trying to save face. I've done it with students and they just clam up. A frozen look comes over their face, they stare into space, and refuse to speak or make eye contact. It's as if they have been turned to stone.

Causing a Thai to lose face is one thing that can result in the red mist descending and this isn't a good thing in Thailand because when that happens Thais can lose the plot completely. With the amount of guns in Thailand, you don't want to be around when a Thai man loses the plot and the red mist descends.

If you get into a situation where a Thai refuses to respond, or whose answer is obviously incorrectly, don't push it. Just say thank you and ask someone else. They don't know the answer and no amount of pushing will help. All it will do is cause a loss of face.

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Patronage

Last updated: 24th April 2011

If you are interested in Thai society you will hear and read a lot about patron/clients and the patronage system. For an academic overview I would recommend Mulder's 'Inside Thai Society'.

You can never make generalised statements about an entire nation of people because there are always exceptions, but Thai society is very different to Western society.

My goals in life as a farang consist of doing and achieving things myself and I know I am capable of doing and achieving those things. Most farangs are the same.

Conversely, the goal in life for many Thais is to find a person (a patron) who will take care of them in life and they are perfectly content to be clients to their patron in return for being taken care of.

I don't think that many Westerners would be very happy about this kind of arrangement, but they aren't Thai. The hierarchical structure of Western society is a lot flatter and people don't like to kowtow to others. Being subservient to others is not desirable to most Westerners.

Thai society is very different. No one is equal in society and depending on someone's position in the social hierarchy there will always be people who are 'bigger' or 'smaller'.

There is no stigma attached to being subservient and Thais actually seem to enjoy enjoy demonstrating their subservience to 'bigger' people.

Thais generally don't have much self-confidence. I think this can be traced back to the education system but that is another subject. This lack of confidence in doing things themselves is another reason why many look to find someone else to take care of them.

I think the other reason why the patronage system continues to flourish is Thai pragmatism.

Thai society is extremely inequitable and unfair. The life and fortune for many Thais is virtually set out at birth. A dark-skinned Thai born into a poor family will have no opportunities in life, no matter how clever that person may be.

Many poor Thais without much formal education know full well that they don't have a hope in hell of getting a decent job or leading a fullfilling, satisfying life. Their only way to survive is to find a patron.

If a dark-skinned girl from a poor background is pretty, she has the additional opportunity of finding a foreign husband if she goes to live and work in an area of Thailand where there are lots of foreign tourists.

This arrangement can work for many foreign men because in their own countries they wouldn't have a hope in hell of marrying a young, pretty girl. However, this doesn't come free.

As her patron, which is what you are, you will be expected to fully take care of her and her extended family.

It is no coincidence that most Thai girls involved with foreign men are dark-skinned and come from Isaan, the poorest region of Thailand. It is also no coincidence that most of these relationships begin in one of Thailand's well known farang tourist resorts.

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Cultural Insensitivity

Last updated: 16th June 2007

Regarding Thais and non-Thais in Thailand (generally speaking), there is a lot of ignorance on both sides about the other side's culture. This can be good and bad. Thais understand that most foreigners are ignorant of their ways and make allowances; thus it is difficult to upset anyone.

It is especially difficult to upset Thais if you don't speak Thai but once you learn how to speak Thai it becomes remarkably easy. Language is very powerful in Thailand. There are no swear words as such but using certain personal pronouns is the same as using a bad curse word in the West.

The hypocrisy shown by Thai people concerning cultural insensitivity is incredible. A BBC News report blares out the headline - Thais to publish etiquette guide.

This was all about an American film showing a farang actor sitting on the head of a Buddha image, which is a big taboo in Thailand.

However, what about the WW2-style German helmets that some Thais wear while riding their motorbikes instead of proper crash helmets that might actually protect their heads in the event of an accident.

Some wear black Nazi storm trooper helmets which feature a Swastika on one side and an 'SS' flash on the other. A significant proportion of tourists in Thailand are German, and Jewish people also visit the country, but the people who wear such attire do not have a solitary inkling that it might actually be culturally insensitive.

This imagery is so offensive in Germany that it is banned but in Thailand it is just fashion.

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The Thai Value System

Last updated: 16th May 2010

Every society has a set of beliefs and values that govern the way the people in that society think and behave.

These values and beliefs aren't necessarily wrong, but they can be different. When comparing certain countries, beliefs and values may be virtually the same.

What you will find, though, is that there are enormous differences when comparing the belief and value systems in European and North American countries with those in Asian countries.

If someone from England moves to the United States they just get on with life. However, many people from Europe and North America who move to Thailand develop an obsession with the many cultural differences that exist in Thailand.

This is why you don't hear too much from expats who move to certain countries, but why the Internet is full of expat accounts of living in Thailand.

Yes, it's different. Very different.

You can't change the Thai belief or value systems (even if some things seem completely irrational to you), but if you live in Thailand (especially if you have a relationship with a Thai) it helps to understand some of the differences.

In fact, it goes further than that. In order to survive in Thailand it is essential that you understand the differences unless you just intend living within an expat bubble in one of the tourist resorts.

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Morality

Last updated: 25th May 2010

Many mixed messages come out of Thailand regarding morality. It's no wonder that most foreigners visiting Thailand come away confused, or with completely the wrong idea.

Some well-known beach resorts that provide many foreign men with the sexual fantasies they always dreamed of are pure sex and sin, yet when a dictionary described Bangkok as a city associated with prostitution the Thais were enraged.

Certain parts of Thailand may seem like the most immoral places on earth but morality is taught as a separate subject in some Thai schools, and the downfall of some Prime Ministers has been because of their lack of morality.

Thai males consume a huge amount of alcohol but when a beer manufacturer was set to float on the Thai stock exchange there were massive street protests in Bangkok. Buddhism advocates 'right-mindedness' and, as we all know, right-thinking is not easy after four bottles of beer or half a bottle of whisky. Buddhism therefore advises people to abstain from alcohol.

Conservative Buddhist Thais were therefore upset that an alcohol company should be listed on the stock exchange. No one seemed too bothered about actual alcohol problems in Thailand, notably drink-driving. The whole thing seemed to be a 'face' issue. The concern wasn't about the real dangers of alcohol in society but just about what other people thought of Thailand.

The subject of uniforms worn by female university students pops up fairly regularly. The basic uniform is a white blouse and black skirt but there are many variations on the same theme. Girls can wear long black skirts, baggy blouses and flat shoes which don't set anyone's pulse racing.

On the other hand they can wear black micro-skirts with slits, blouses which appear to be about three sizes too small and high, strappy shoes. Every time they breathe in deeply you fear (hope?) a button might pop off and take out your eye.

This is a popular 'morality' subject with the Thai media and gives media companies a good excuse to show lots of sexy students while at the same time condemning their wanton appearance. There's nothing worse in Thailand than the sight of university girls in black micro skirts and tight blouses.

Another favourite is the subject of 'spaghetti' strap tops which are favoured by some Thai girls. During the Songkran festival each year, girls are told not to wear such apparel in the vicinity of Bangkok's Khaosan Road, a well-known farang backpacker haunt. The authorities obviously fear that the sight of a few girls in skimpy, wet tops would be enough to incite a farang riot.

Double standards are typical in Thailand. Throughout Thai history it has been quite acceptable for men to have several women, but women are expected to be totally loyal and faithful. When the phenomenon of 'gigs' appeared it got a lot of people hot under the collar. A 'gig' is what Thais describe as someone who is more than a friend but not a boyfriend/girlfriend.

As everyone knows, the country has a notorious reputation for prostitution but conservative Thais (of which there are many) get upset when foreigners make public comments about it.

In the book, 'Bangkok Inside Out' (ISBN 979-97964-6-6) the authors included an entry on Patpong. The accompanying photo - taken inside a Patpong bar, presumably - shows a bare-breasted Thai girl sitting on the lap of a farang customer. A number is pinned to her skirt. She is girl number 79. The male customer whose lap she is sitting on has his hands clasped over her breasts. Both are grinning broadly in an atmosphere that reeks of alcohol and lust: the lust for sex on his part, and money on her part. The photo caused a bit of a stir in Thailand and the book was subsequently banned.

However, this type of scene can be found in many tourist areas, and in the same areas there will be many outwardly visible signs of prostitution so it seems a little contradictory - hypocritical even.

The majority of Thais get upset by this kind of portrayal of their country and are deeply offended by the reputation it gives Thailand, but other aspects of Thai culture are coming into play. If the Thais are that upset why don't they clamp down on prostitution, which is illegal anyway? Everyone knows where it goes on, so doing so would be easy.

For starters, thousands of poor villagers benefit from the money the girls earn. Supporting their families is an honourable thing for the girls to do, regardless of how they earn the money. Thais understand hardship in life and know that stopping the industry would make a lot of people suffer financially. This is something they wouldn't want to happen to other Thais.

Another reason the industry is left alone is a little less savoury. Some Thais have got very rich from it and, because of the corruption that exists, so have some law enforcers and politicians. The people who have the power to close it down are also the ones who have a vested interest in keeping it going. There is also a sense that it isn't right to interfere in other people's business - don't upset someone else's rice bowl.

The thing about Thailand is that what you see on the surface is never how things really are. Having in lived in Thailand now for a while my observation is that some Thais are some of the most conservative people I have ever come across. Don't be fooled by the general reputation and what goes on in a small minority of places.

Here's another 'moral panic' in Thailand story from the Nation; this time about 'coyote girls'.

What is also unfortunate in Thailand is that for many people nothing in life is more important than money. For those Thais who think that way, when given a chance to make money morality goes completely out the window and they will stop at nothing.

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Petty Theft Among Thais

Last updated: 14th May 2010

I'm not implying this is a cultural trait but I wasn't sure where to put it and as the problem mainly exists only among Thais it doesn't necessarily represent a hazard to tourists.

I first picked up on this after my ex-girlfriend kept having problems but since then I have heard the same thing from quite a few Thais.

Very few unmarried Thais stay alone. Those who are working often share a room with colleagues. Partly, this is because of finances. Personally, I don't consider Bt6,000 a month to rent a room as being expensive but if someone only earns that amount in a month then it is expensive.

But it isn't only because of money; Thais aren't solitary creatures and don't like staying alone. Staying alone isn't sabai or sanuk and, if you are on your own, who will protect you from ghosts? Thais have a morbid fear of ghosts and don't like being alone for that reason.

They will either find a cheap room to rent or, as is often the case, there will be some free rooms available where they work as part of the job and two or three of them will share a room.

Iss had various things stolen including clothes, jewellery, money, books and a Walkman. Some of these things I had bought her, and some of the clothes (not cheap ones) hadn't even been worn. I was annoyed and we knew who the thief was but couldn't prove anything.

Coming back from Phuket one time, I was sitting next to a girl who was going home to Krabi to attend her sister's wedding. She worked at a high class clothes shop in Phuket and had suffered from the same problems while sharing a room with colleagues that had been provided with the job. Her expensive mobile telephone had been stolen.

In England this kind of thing isn't unknown. I have known of thefts in cricket clubs where one member has stolen from other members but to steal from friends, relatives, colleagues or fellow members of a club is seen about as low as you can get.

Motorbikes are another target and Thais take great care when parking their motorbikes. Most parking lots operate a system whereby people check their bikes in and they need to show a ticket in order to get them out again.

House break-ins are also a problem. I have never seen so many bars, gates and locks on houses since I was in South Africa.

It is an unfortunate fact, but there are a lot of light-fingered Thais around.

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Politeness

Last updated: 18th May 2010

Most Thais seek a harmonious, non-confrontational relationship with other people. They do this with actions and words. Language is extremely powerful in Thailand and the words used will convey the level of politeness.

In many situations politeness will be expected and people will get upset if the correct words aren't used. Conversely, using the wrong words will cause offense.

Ex-Prime Minister Samak upset a lot of people when he used some old forms of personal pronouns that are now considered impolite.

The vocabulary people use, the forms of address, the use of the polite particles, combined with wai-ing and other deferential behaviour is very important in Thailand.

However, levels of politeness very considerably in Thailand.

There is almost a complete lack of courtesy while driving, and Thais rarely hold doors open for other people. Once you start to understand a little Thai, you will start picking up lots of impolite comments directed at you. Thais generally assume that farangs cannot understand any Thai and therefore it is acceptable to talk about them in their presence.

If you deal with a government department the language will always be very polite but at certain other places you will find the opposite.

The term bpaak dtaalaat (market mouth) is an idiom for someone who has a foul mouth, and at many markets you will experience impolite speech and behaviour.

I often experience rudeness when I travel by public transport. I think this has to do with perceived social status and the fact that anyone using public transport must be quite low down in society.

It pays dividends to be polite in Thailand. Also, remember that language is extremely powerful in Thailand. If you learn to speak some Thai, be careful.

What is interesting is that Thai friends have never taught me any bad words. When I used to learn languages at school, these words were always the first ones people learned.

I think this is for protection. You can curse a Thai all you want in English and it won't mean anything. If, on the other hand, you say something bad in Thai the consequences could be serious.

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Rudeness and Arrogance

Last updated: 16th May 2010

Thailand - the Land of Smiles.

Newly-arrived expats and vacationers have sometimes taken exception to some things I've written in the past about negative Thai traits.

As a tourist, and then as a newly-arrived expat, I was also very defensive about Thais. I didn't understand any of the language, and most of the time I wasn't aware of what was going on around me.

After a while it changes.

Thai society is extremely hierarchical and every Thai knows where he/she fits in the hierarchy. As a newly-arrived foreigner you are outside of this system. However, if you remain in Thailand - especially if you work - you will be placed in the appropriate pigeon hole.

You will then be expected to behave in accordance with the rules of Thai society, and this means being subservient to those who regard themselves higher than you in the hierarchy.

If you use public transport then by doing so it means you don't have your own transport, and therefore your status is quite low. Prepare to be told what to do by the driver of the vehicle and the person collecting fares.

Customer service isn't generally very good in Thailand. Owners of shops consider themselves higher than customers; managers consider themselves higher than workers; teachers consider themselves higher than students; people with uniforms consider themselves higher than those without; Thais with light skin consider themselves better than Thais with dark skin, etc, etc.

I have been on the receiving end of much rudeness and arrogance in Thailand.

Also, the longer you stay in Thailand, the more Thai you tend to understand. It is only when you can understand what is being said, that you really understand what is going on. There is always a smile on the surface but what is going on beneath the surface is very different.

All this polite, smiling business that tourists see is just what happens on the surface. After you've been in Thailand for a while, you will realise that what you see on the surface never reflects reality.

Most Thais do try to be polite, kind and friendly but there is a much darker side to the Thai character.

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Lack of awareness of others

Buddhism focuses on the actions of individuals rather than the existence of a supreme being watching over everyone. Every action produces a result, and the laws of cause and effect govern all things in life.

This focus on the individual seems to have caused other effects.

Driving techniques on Thai roads are appalling. On many occasions it's as if a driver has no awareness of other road users - and that is probably the case.

Even in supermarkets while browsing the shelves, Thais will 'park' their shopping trolleys so that they completely block the aisle and no one can pass. If you mention something, they are normally very apologetic.

It's as if they don't intend inconveniencing others, but when they do things in the first place they just don't consider others.

Double parking is another issue. On a busy three lane road where one lane is occupied with parked cars or traffic cones, they will think nothing of parking in the middle lane. This can cause a big traffic jam but they seem unaware.

In shared apartment buildings Thais like to listen to music and movies at high volume. They seem to have no idea how this might affect other people nearby.

It is extremely common for Thais to block off the section of sidewalk outside their houses and shops with plant pots and things. As a pedestrian, this is really annoying but many people do it.

I was going to refer to this section as Thai selfishness and inconsideration but I'm not sure that would be accurate. I've spoken to other foreigners living in Thailand about this kind of thing and they agree.

They see lots of examples where Thai behaviour has a negative impact on other people, but agree that it's probably not intentional. When told of negative behaviour Thais are normally very apologetic.

It's quite a strange thing. I'm guessing that Buddhist beliefs have an influence on how Thais behave, but I'm really not sure.

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Joking and Teasing

A series of high-profile cases have made us all aware that we do not joke about having bombs about our person at airport security checks unless we wish to be arrested. With the constant threat of global terrorism, security is an important matter and there is zero tolerance for jokes.

After the insurgency flared up again in southern Thailand at the beginning of 2004, many department stores started to employ security guards to stand at the entrances checking for terrorists. Having got used to the serious nature of such checks I was rather surprised when the Thai security guard (with a big grin on his face) asked if I had a bomb in my case. "Not today," I told him.

(Incidentally, I am well-known now at the department stores where I shop regularly and I often visit on my way from or to work when I carry a small attache case with my paperwork in. It has reached the stage where now they just wave me through without checking).

The purpose of this story is to illustrate how important joking and teasing is to the Thais. I really like it because by nature I like to joke and tease as well. If you teach English and set up an exercise where the students have to ask each other questions; if they can do it while teasing their classmates at the same time, they will. The whole class will then hoot with laughter, including the person being teased.

The Thais are a shy race and with strangers they can be serious, awkward and retiring but once the barriers have been dropped their playful nature becomes evident. I tease the girlfriend constantly and she does the same with me.

Men wishing to attract Thai girls should remember this. Don't just tell them how beautiful they are as it gets very, very boring. Find something to tease them about (which is never very difficult), tease them in front of their friends and make them laugh.

Be prepared for the same treatment and remember that they will only tease you if they feel comfortable enough with you to do so. Being teased by Thais means being accepted by them so it is a good thing.

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Helpfulness

Thais are normally very helpful, especially to each other but also to foreigners. There seems to be a common understanding among Thais that life is tough (which it is for many in Thailand) but if everyone helps one another it can be a lot better. In Thailand I am reminded of the old adage about the difference between heaven and hell.

Both places are set up the same with banquets of food but there are only five foot long chopsticks with which to eat the sumptuous fare. In hell everyone is hungry and miserable because they are trying, but failing, to feed themselves whereas the folks in heaven are feeding each other and everyone is happy and contented.

In London I have held out my arm for buses to stop but the driver just smirks and drives past. Not only is there no benefit for him to stop but he actually seems to get some kind of pleasure from making another person's life a little more difficult.

Certainly, in the UK this attitude is prevalent. My life is crap but rather than try to make it better for myself I will just try to make someone else's life worse. If I'm miserable then so can everyone else be miserable. People who can't have what other people have make themselves feel better by stealing or damaging property. Why else do vandals scratch expensive cars?

In Thailand I have found it to be very different. Getting back to buses, as drivers drive along they are constantly looking out for passengers. They will even come to a complete halt sometimes when they see people but actually those people don't want the bus.

Many poor people don't have their own transport so need to make big shopping trips at the market. When a woman gets on the bus with her week's shopping the bus boys and other passengers will help her on and get her shopping on board.

At those times when I have moved to different accommodation I couldn't believe how helpful people were helping me to move my belongings. No money is expected, they just do it because they are a helpful bunch of people.

I was sick one time and unable to go out for food. My girlfriend had to go to work and I had no one to get me food. She took a motorbike taxi to work and then asked the driver to buy food for me and return it to my room, which he did. It cost him time and some more petrol but it wasn't a problem.

Yes, we all know that there are a few cheats and rogues in Thailand, especially around the big tourists areas but the vast majority of people are very much, "jai dee," which means they have good hearts. Next time you receive an act of kindness from a Thai, tell them, "Khon Thai jai dee." They will appreciate it.

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Thai Culture, A Foreigner's Perspective

I am aware that the majority of visitors to this site head straight to the section about Thai girls. In my opinion however, this section on Thai culture is by far the most insightful page. Never before have I known the culture of a country to have such an impact on the behaviour of a society than in Thailand.

It was Thailand's culture that drew me here and there are many aspects of the culture that other societies could learn from. However, there are other aspects of the culture that I'm not so keen about.

I do not always sense fairness or doing things for the 'right' reasons ('right' reasons, that is, from a Western viewpoint). The system of political patronage and the power of money and influence is very powerful and pervasive. I have been on the receiving end of unfair behaviour and witnessed it happening to Thai friends. It has saddened me to see destruction of the environment with no apparent justification other than that of short term monetary gain.

In Thailand the people with money and privilege get just about what they want. Laws and regulations seem to be applied discriminatorily. The people without money or power are kept very much downtrodden. Without connections and without funds they have no chance to better themselves no matter how hard-working or clever they are. The rich, meanwhile, continue to get the opportunities to invest in new businesses and to become richer purely by virtue of who they are and what they have.

Very rich people can buy their way into positions of political power and then use that position to benefit themselves and their families and friends. Corruption is an ongoing problem despite the fact it has caused major problems in the past.

You would have thought that the financial crisis of 1997 (which almost bankrupted the country) would have acted as a warning shot that the Thai way of life could not continue as it had always done. The already rich could not go on mindlessly investing in bad business deals and property speculation with financial protection from their friends in government whose salaries are paid for by the people of Thailand.

However, it seems that not a lot has changed. Transparency with the governance of the country is never likely to happen because it will hurt too many powerful people. There has never been an elected government in Thailand with the courage to challenge the corruption that takes place and there probably never will be. Thai culture is at the root of most of the country's problems.

But I don't want to dwell on the negative. Nowhere is perfect and there are a lot worse places to be than Thailand. In a country with over 60 million people, most of the population seem fairly happy and get along harmoniously. There is probably no other country that is more welcoming to foreigners.

The problem Thailand faces in this era of globalisation, and with pressure from the government to develop the country, is keeping the right balance. Some aspects of Western culture are acceptable but Thailand needs to be careful which elements of foreign cultures it chooses to adopt.

The one thing the country doesn't want to do is lose the essence of its own culture which is what makes Thailand such a very special place. Any country can build fast food joints and shopping malls everywhere to emulate American culture but that would be a total disaster. I'm not sure that Thailand is trying to turn itself into another America but under the current government there seems to be a move to make Bangkok more like Singapore.

The other thing to remember is that the culture, with its well observed social hierarchy, suits a lot of people who have never known anything else. Just as people in Russia who had grown up under Communism struggled when the Iron Curtain fell, many Thais would struggle to exist in a Western style culture. This is another reason not to develop the country too quickly.

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Fate, Responsibility and Liability

When guide books talk about culture in Thailand they talk mainly about superficial differences that are fairly meaningless. For foreigners in Thailand does it matter that people wai instead of shaking hands? I don't think so. The cultural differences that are important are the ones that completely contradict Western thinking. It is when you observe a value system and a way of thinking that completely goes against your values and ideas that the term 'culture shock' starts to be relevant. Here I will discuss some of the things that give me problems in Thailand.

Fate - How much are our lives predetermined at birth and how much can we influence our own fate? Can we try to make things better for ourselves and avoid problems or is it just a case of, "Whatever will be will be?"

Some people regard Buddhism as fatalistic but that couldn't be further from the truth. Buddhism very much states that, as individuals, we control our own destiny. In the Karmic cycle, doing good things results in good things and thus, doing bad things results in bad things. It is the ultimate law of action and consequence; cause and effect.

If fate was really determined at birth and unchangeable what reason would there be for being a good person? The world would be anarchic. Buddhism is not fatalistic. So why then do many Thais seem to have such fatalistic attitudes?

If you live by a very busy road and have small children do you just let them wander around at will? When they get killed and injured by passing vehicles is it just fate? Of course not. We take measures to ensure that our children cannot stray into dangerous situations. Thais, like everyone else, would agree with this but there the similarity appears to end.

What about animals? If you take possession of a young cat and let it wander around at will on busy roads before it has a chance to learn that traffic is dangerous, is it fate when the cat gets killed? Or was it predictable? When it happened to a cat which belonged to people I know it was actually very predictable.

On building sites is it sensible for construction workers to wear straw hats and rubber flip-flops while working without any safety barriers seven storeys up? Is it just fate when one falls or gets hit on the head by a falling object? We all know that certain safety measures on building sites, such as hard hats and steel toe-capped boots, will prevent injuries and deaths but in Thailand people seem unconcerned.

And what about my favourite subject in Thailand - road safety? It is common knowledge (and common sense) that seat belts, crash helmets, not driving while drunk and the general observance of traffic laws will reduce the number of injuries and deaths on the roads but no one in Thailand seems particularly bothered.

This is where Thai thinking starts to depart from Western ideas. Yes, individual freedom is good but shouldn't responsible societies act against problems that in many cases are preventable, and shouldn't individuals show a little more responsibility for ensuring their own safety?

Responsibility - I am constantly aware in Thailand that I have to be on the lookout for potential hazards to ensure my own safety because many people have no sense of responsibility. Being a road user is an obvious danger, as is being a pedestrian. Construction sites, as already mentioned, are a danger to pedestrians passing underneath and I cross roads to avoid them (which is also a hazardous activity in Thailand because drivers do not stop for pedestrians).

While walking I have to watch out for huge holes in the uneven and broken pavements, sharp iron bars jutting out at eye level and red-hot glowing charcoal burners that have been set up by food vendors. Owners of dangerous dogs do not always restrain their animals properly and another fear I have is of being attacked by a Rottweiler or something. The list goes on.

I saw a letter in The Nation from an American who said he wanted to set up a business in Thailand but was concerned about the level of infrastructure safety. He mentioned high-voltage electricity cables located near to open windows and open fuse boxes in schools. If he is waiting for the situation to improve before setting up his business he might have a long wait.

Foreigners notice these things because they are very noticeable coming from developed countries but to the Thais they are just normal and there is no incentive or desire to make changes.

One of the problems in Thailand is that there is no real liability. People seem generally unconcerned about being responsible for killing or injuring another person because it is unlikely any action will be taken against them.

Liability - In America, greedy lawyers and greedier individuals have made it the most litigious country in the world. The whole world has heard about Americans who sue fast food restaurants for selling coffee that was too hot and food that made them fat. Some Americans, apparently, weren't aware that smoking was bad for their health and have tried to sue tobacco companies when they developed lung cancer and other tobacco-related diseases.

An industry has been spawned with greedy people intentionally trying to find things they can sue for. Some people have been reported braking hard in their cars so that another vehicle hits them in the rear in order to enable them to sue for whiplash injuries. A woman put a human finger into a bowl of chili she bought from a fast-food restaurant chain and tried to sue the restaurant for millions of dollars.

It's a joke. The world laughs at America and, at the same time, hopes that this particular brand of stupidity remains in the States and isn't exported.

Thailand is the polar opposite. I just know that if a couple of 14 year-olds racing around on a motorbike hit me, they will pick themselves up, shrug their shoulders and ride off. I know that if I break an ankle by stepping into a hole in the pavement it will be tough luck and that if a dangerous dog attacks me nothing will happen to the owner. I will not be compensated or even have my medical bills paid for. A story in The Nation during 2004 told of a girl who had suffered a serious Rottweiler attack and the owner offered her Bt500 compensation.

In many ways it's just as crazy as America. Civilised societies shouldn't carry on at either extreme but there should be some sensible ground in the middle of these two examples.

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Thai Opinion of Foreigners

Last updated: 16th May 2010

Before discussing this, there are a couple of important points to make.

Firstly, it is impossible to make loose generalisations for every Thai in Thailand. The clever Thai doctor who has worked abroad with clever foreign doctors will probably have a different impression of foreigners compared to the hotel receptionist in Pattaya who sees nothing but sex tourists.

Secondly, what you see on the surface in Thailand has nothing to do with reality. No matter what a Thai thinks about you, they will demonstrate politeness and good manners. However, what they really think about you, and what they say behind your back, may be completely different.

The majority of Thais have never been outside of Thailand. Their view of the world is very insular and their opinion of foreigners is based on what they see when foreigners visit Thailand. Most of those foreigners tend to be tourists.

What do they see?

They see people who are quite physically different to themselves and this intrigues them. The sheer size of farangs, along with unusual eye and hair colouring, is fascinating.

Most Thais can speak and read English to some degree, whereas most foreigners have no Thai language skills at all - even some of those who have lived in Thailand a long time. In this respect, Thais see themselves as being superior.

On the surface Thais seem extremely modest and unassuming but when you start to dig a little deeper there is a marked superiority complex. Thailand, Thais, and all things Thai are regarded as being superior to all things foreign - with the exception of expensive cars and other material goods not produced in Thailand.

Most foreigners have no idea of Thai customs and behaviour. Things such as not taking their shoes off when entering a building give the impression that foreigners are ignorant and uncouth.

Of course, a Thai would never dream of saying anything to a foreigner about ignorant behaviour. A simple smile is all the foreigner will ever get, but the way the Thai really feels inside is very different.

Many foreign men think nothing of renting prostitutes and parading them around with no shame at all. The receptionist at the hotel or apartment will smile politely but Thais do not condone this kind of thing. Thai men also use prostitutes but it is done very discreetly.

Again, this behaviour gives Thais a very bad impression of foreigners.

Almost all Thais live by the same value and and belief systems. Their thoughts are very aligned. When they see foreigners who don't live by the same rules, it confuses them.

If foreigners have money, why don't they buy conspicuous materialistic objects to show off their wealth? Why do foreign men like dark-skinned Thai girls from the lowest sectors of Thai society? This is probably the question I have been asked most often in Thailand.

Thais don't seem to realise how the majority of foreign men meet Thai girls in Thailand. If they did, this would explain why foreign men often get involved with poor, dark-skinned girls from Isaan.

Foreign men also have a reputation among Thais for choosing ugly wives and girlfriends. When you see some of the mixed couples wandering around it is easy to understand why they think this way. This is a mystery to me too.

Many foreigners appear to have enough money to do what they want to do, yet they don't work. Thais have a general belief that all foreigners are rich. Thais are very aware of what things should cost in Thailand.

When they see farangs throwing money around in Phuket, paying far more for things than they should, it confirms the Thai belief that foreigners are either very rich or very stupid - or maybe both.

And anyway, it is Thais who benefit from the farang stupidity with money in Thailand, so they are quite grateful.

As a tourist you will get the impression that Thais think you are wonderful. Vacations in Thailand are often very memorable and it is easy to begin a love affair with Thailand.

Once you really get below the surface, though, Thai opinions of foreigners aren't all that good. Money is of the utmost importance to Thais, and foreigners bring a lot into the country.

For this reason foreigners will always find that Thais are polite and courteous on the surface but what they really think is a different matter.

This applies just as much to the Malaysians and Singaporeans that visit southern Thailand as it does to the farangs who visit Pattaya, Phuket, Samui, etc.

Based on my own observations of how many foreigners behave in Thailand, I can understand perfectly well why Thais have such a low opinion.

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